SP Chronicles #6

SugarPine Chronicles, Log Account 6...

It's safe to say that I've made it through half of the summer, because like the rest of the staff here at Timber, it feels like all the pressure is mounting on us right NOW. We're working with over 100 kids which is thoroughly maxing out the camp in almost every way possible, my voice has lost the ability to reach its high register, it's becoming way too easy and tempting for me to blow off these kids, and I am having a serious heartache for home. And to throw another curveball in, one counselor had to go home today because he got sick bad. Basically he's got some kinda virus that makes him faint randomly in the day, and this doesn't go away for a couple weeks. We were all sad to see him go, keep him in your prayers.

It feels like I'm being attacked from all sides, and at this point God decides to tell me to stretch myself even more and expend more energy. He's been wanting me to really find out who Jesus is, and what exactly he came on this earth to do. It's been very interesting to force myself to sit down for 7 minutes and read, to find myself wanting to read even more when I need to go do something else. I have definetely reached my uncomfortable zone, I'll tell ya what.

I just want to go home. The one week I was home I was actually sick, so I was trying to silently recover on my off time, which wasn't very sucessful. It feels like I've been going forever now. It's so bad that when I came to my house I was uncomfortable because everything was so clean. I'm used to dusty mountains, not clean suburbs. But I really want to go home. I love my youth group more than I love this camp, and I'm missing out on stuff with them and other people back home. If I had a choice I'd go back home Saturday, but I know that God's got me here for a reason and I'm not leaving till He gives me the okay.

This whole summer has been so weird, this is the summer of the sickness, the summer of endurance, the summer of transition for the entire staff here, I love it. But now I just want to go home even for a little while, to completely lock myself in my house and recover for three days and then get sent out again on the frontline. I'm just so physically worn out from everything here, and I want a breather so bad. And as bad as I feel saying this, but I don't want to rely on God half the time, I just want to press pause and breathe. But then God kicks me in the bonono and I tell myself to shut up and do my job, and He always makes sure I follow through with it.

I don't even know, I'm just so tired right now. I'm even past curfew, I need sleep. Keep me in your prayers guys, thanks much. See you Placer County people in 24 days.